MaeLyn's Musings

 On Tuesday I went to the endocrinologist for a follow up visit. I had blood drawn for labs last week, so Tuesday I was hoping for some good news, but also looking for an explanation for why I've been feeling so tired lately. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted to hear: "Yay, the cancer is gone and you can forget it ever happened!" would have been extremely wishful thinking.  "Yay, the cancer is gone, but you still need to take your meds for the rest of your life and come in every six months or year for a check up to make sure it stays gone." would have been more realistically optimistic. What did I really hear? I came away from that appointment in kind of a numb fog. Yes, part of that is because I was tired (I took a nap in the waiting room while waiting for the doctor to be ready for me) and frequently have brain fog. (What's Steven's boss's name again - the one he talks about all the time and I made that crochet bee for?) In spite of the fog, I...

I want to cry. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and got back the results from the CT test I had a few weeks ago. The doctor wants me to have another "procedure" to have several rogue lymph nodes removed before they get bigger and potentially spread to other parts of my body. He gave me a referral to a head and neck surgeon across town to have them look at the scan results and see what they think. I may very well end up with another, even longer scar on my neck going up towards my ear. I had hoped that the original surgery and iodine radiation would have been the end of it, besides, of course, the pills I'll have to take every day for the rest of my life. (In this crazy world we live in now, what if something happens to the supply chain of this type of medicine?)  The thing is, I feel fine. These lymph nodes aren't big enough to be seen, and neither I nor the doctor can feel them. If it weren't for the imaging technology, I would never have known anyth...

 This morning I got to go in for a CT scan. As I mentioned in a recent post  (scroll to the very end), there is evidence that I still have some thyroid cells left over from the surgery that may or may not be cancerous. My doctors thought I should have a CT scan to investigate further, so that happened this morning. When I scheduled the appointment for 9am, the lady told me that since the scan was with contrast,  I was to hydrate really well the day before and that I shouldn't eat or drink anything for at least 4 hours preceding the appointment. When I mentioned that I take my pills at 5:30am, she said that was okay as long as I took them with distilled water. A couple days ago I bought some distilled water for the purpose, but the smallest quantity I could buy it in was a gallon... to take two tiny pills.  This morning, in spite of having drunk about 12 cups of water yesterday, I woke up feeling parched and thirsty. The 1/2 cup of distilled water I took to wash down ...

(This is part 5 of a series.  Click here to read part 1 ) Last week I went to the hospital to take a radioactive pill. ( See here for more on that .) Over the next five days I read, did some crafts, binge watched Merlin on Netflix and reveled in solitude. (That being said, it was nice to come out on Saturday and be able to interact normally with my family again. Many thanks to those who brought meals, gifts or called to chat during my time in seclusion!) This morning I went back to the hospital so they could see the results of my taking that pill. The check-in process at the hospital was very easy since this was essentially the second half of the same procedure. The concierge at the front desk just checked my name off his list and sent me to the waiting area while he called the folks in nuclear medicine to let them know I was there. Just a few minutes later the same guy who gave me the pill came out and took me back to his domain where we met another guy who took charge of this p...

 Last month I got to experience my first hospital stay since Peter was born 16 years ago. Here is what led up to it. On Tuesday, June 8th, my cardiologist, Dr. Haffey, informed me that I had thyroid cancer. (See this post , for more info.) He assured me that it was very common and completely curable, but I would need to have surgery to remove the nodules that had been discovered on my thyroid. He would give me a referral for a doctor who specialized in that kind of surgery. The following day I received a call from the office of another doctor, telling me that I had been referred to them by Dr. Haffey, and I made an appointment with him for the following Monday. On Thursday June 10th, Steven lost his job and we discovered that our insurance coverage would end at the end of June. On Monday, June 14th, I met with Dr. Peller. He hadn't seen the test results from the ultrasounds I'd had of my thyroid, but he explained what to expect: I would have surgery to remove part or all of my ...

Josh worked at a scout camp this last summer. He would go up on Sunday after church and come home Saturday morning. One Saturday he came home with a scab on his forehead and the news that one day that week, he had fallen asleep and fallen off the bench he had been sitting on and hit his head. He had been up late the night before and nodded off during one of the classes. One day in mid-September, I received a phone call from the school nurse to tell me that Josh had fallen asleep during class, and again fell off his chair and hit his head on the ground. At first I thought it was a recurrence of what had happened at scout camp, but when I asked him about it after school, I became a little suspicious. He said this time he hadn't been feeling particularly sleepy. He had gotten a feeling of  déjà vu and a headache before falling asleep suddenly. That sounded remarkably like how I feel when I have a seizure. At 6:21 AM  yesterday morning I received a text from John, who was at s...

On June 26th, I went to the hospital for an EEG. The process was very similar to the last one I had done (see here ) but it was a little different. Once again I was told to only sleep four hours the night before, and once again I was dead tired. This time the test was done by a woman, and she took me to a different room in the same area of the hospital as the last one. She had me lie down on the bed while she put the electrode things on my head. She had me blow on a pinwheel several times, with controlled breaths before she flashed the lights at my closed eyes, and then let me try to rest for a little while. She had soft music playing - which drowned out some of the other hospital noises, but still made it difficult to actually get to sleep. Personally I think a white noise machine might have been more effective. Anyway, when the test was finished, she removed the electrodes and sent me on my way. The results would be sent to my doctor. The neurologist also ordered an MRI, and I had ...

On June 6th, 2018, at about 9:50 am, I passed out again ( See here for the back story ). I was talking to Peter, telling him about a party he had been invited to attend when I felt it coming on. I managed to get to the sofa and sit down before I lost consciousness. I awoke from a dream and sat up on the couch to find both Peter and Joshua looking at me with concern. Hannah was at home, and after a minute or two of confused thought, I asked her to take me to the hospital. At the hospital, I struggled to remember my birth date and other information, but it came slowly. The doctors took blood and did an EKG, and a couple hours later sent me home (the fuzziness in my brain cleared up after about an hour) with a referral to a neurologist this time - they said the stress on my body wasn't consistent with what it would be if it had been a cardiac event (heart related), and the doctor was throwing around words like "absence seizure" and "narcolepsy". I've been see...

I don't like going to the doctor. I don't like being poked and prodded. I don't like being given things to worry about. About a month ago I went to a doctor (an OB, and no, I'm not pregnant) and as usual one of the first things they did was measure my blood pressure. Then they took it again. And again. I watched the little red needle swing around the dial past 140 or so, and then slowly creep back down. "Has anyone ever told you that you have high blood pressure? No? Hmmm. Well, are you feeling stressed right now?" "Some. I don't like going to the doctor." "Well, it's often high when people first come in. We'll take it again before you leave. It usually goes down after the visit." They did take it again before I left, and it had gone down... a little. But I was told that I need to watch that, and make a few lifestyle changes. If it continues to be high, I should see a regular doctor about it. So I went home and researched...

The freedom to move, To simply straighten my arm - Magnificent bliss! I went to the doctor this morning. I have permission to take my arm out of the sling! - when I'm at home anyway. He still wants me to wear it when I'm out and about to protect it for the next four weeks.  Range of motion in my right arm right now: I can't lift my elbow above about halfway to shoulder level. I can't reach behind myself at all - I'm not supposed to even try for fear of popping it back out. Physical therapy starts tomorrow. Hopefully I'll learn what I need to do to regain my flexibility.

I don't like taking medicine. I would rather eat burned toast for upset stomach, or drink honey and lemon for a sore throat than take any pill. I've never really gone for essential oils, either - I think my natural skepticism has a detrimental effect on their potency. In my head, I know if I get a headache, if I take something for it right when it starts, it will go away a lot faster than if I wait until it is a full blown headache to take medicine. But inevitably I put it off, thinking the headache isn't that bad, that it will go away on its own. And sometimes it does. But sometimes it doesn't and the headache gets so bad that I have to take something for it, and then it will go away. Why not take it when the headache starts and spare myself the discomfort? I don't like taking medicine and would rather not take it if I can avoid it. And then there is the allergy thing. I am allergic to cats. I live in house with four cats. I am no stranger to the stuffy nose, ...

Steven left for Europe last Friday. Ever since he started looking into this MBA program, I think this international trip has been what he was most excited about. He has been looking forward to it for over a year, and now he is finally there! He has suffered some jet lag and difficulty sleeping, but he has enjoyed the tours of businesses and monasteries, banks and cities. He landed in Frankfurt, Germany, but has also seen Rüdesheim, Mannheim, and Heidelberg. He has seen the European Central Bank, the Deutsche Bank, a John Deere factory and a BASF plant the size of a city. Today I believe he is traveling to Strasbourg, France. He has the camera so I hope he is taking lots of pictures. From his emails, it sounds like he is having fun. Meanwhile, I am essentially a single parent. I've attempted to keep the routines as close to normal as possible, and besides acting up a little, the kids haven't talked much about his being gone. I miss Steven though. I miss the things he does to h...

There is nothing like the adrenaline rush of waking up 40 minutes late to get a person moving in the morning. Especially when that means I have only 20 minutes to get three kids dressed, fed and packed up to leave for school. Steven has been sick the last few days. His upper back and neck have been bothering him for a week and a half. It feels like he has been miserable forever. Yesterday he came home from work early and spent the evening reading in bed. Last night he kept making noises in his sleep: something half way between a grunt and a groan. Anyway, it was keeping me awake so I went to sleep on the living room couch. I kept waking up out there too, because one of the cats decided to come lay on me and purr and give himself a bath, noisily licking himself until I pushed him off. I wasn't laying in a position where I could see the clock, but suddenly I opened my eyes and realized it was light already. Suddenly I jumped off the couch and looked at the clock - 7:10, the time we...