Searching For Truth: The Problem with Uncertainty
(Disclaimer: The things I write in my "Searching for Truth" series are not intended to be doctrine. They are only my personal thoughts from my own perspective as I resolve my personal questions. I post them here in case someone else might find them interesting or gain insights for themselves - in agreement or not. If you have a comment that relates, something I may not have considered - in favor or against, please feel free to leave a respectful comment.)
While this might be true when it comes to scientific facts, I don't believe it applies when it comes to spiritual beliefs. While part of me wants to "let go of [my] pride" and be humble enough to admit that I might be wrong, something in me really fights against it. It sounds right, but it feels wrong. Of course it is good to be humble! Of course I should try to understand other people's views and ideas. So what's wrong with it?
As I've pondered this, I've realized something that (to me) is profound: There are some things that are true only because we believe in them. When these things are challenged, when uncertainty is introduced, it can cause us to feel doubt, and so they then cease to be true. This is why I try to avoid those things that seriously challenge my faith. It isn't so much fear that I might be proved wrong as it is self-preservation - I need these things to stay true for me.
For example: You hear of people in life and death situations having the strength to lift cars to save someone, while under normal circumstances, they wouldn't be able to. Whatever the physical reasons behind it, they are able to lift the car because they believe they can - if they didn't believe in that moment, they wouldn't try hard enough to succeed. They wouldn't be able to do it.
When Peter believed that he could walk on water, he could do it (See Matt 14:25-33). It wasn't until he began to doubt that he started to sink. His view that he could walk on water was correct - he really did it. When that view was tested by the wind and the waves, he became uncertain. His belief didn't withstand the test - not because it wasn't true when he believed it, but because it ceased to be true when he started to doubt.
The scriptures tell us that faith can move mountains. But there is no room for doubt. If we say, "Well, I'm 99% sure I can move this mountain, but I might be wrong" then there is no way that we will ever have the power necessary to be able to move it.
I believe that God can and does answer my prayers so I am watchful and listen for answers - and I find them. I am helped, guided, and comforted. If I began to doubt God's existence, would I still feel the comfort of knowing that there was someone watching over me? Would I continue to trust that there was someone with all wisdom that could guide me through the challenges that I face? Would I continue to have the power to do the things I don't believe I could do without His help? It isn't so much that my doubt would make any difference whether or not He actually exists, but rather that I would be cutting myself off from the blessings and the power that come from believing that He does. I would lose the ability to walk on water and I would sink.
When you ask me to suspend my faith, to even consider the possibility that I might be wrong, you are asking me to relinquish the power that my faith gives me. You are asking me, as Amalakiah asked Lehonti (see Alma 47:7-18), to come down off my mountain where I have power and security, to go down where I am vulnerable, at greater risk of being poisoned or worse. That's I don't want to go there.
I absolutely love this!
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