Peter's Demented Christmas Carols

All through the month of December, Peter was working on a project. It wasn't assigned by school teachers. It definitely wasn't assigned by a parent. No, he took this on himself, and worked on it industriously throughout the month. It's rare he shows such dedication (if a little misdirected)! I thought about posting it during the holiday season, but then figured I'd try not to ruin any one else's holiday. Hopefully you can forget the words by next Christmas.

*Warning* 
The following song lyrics may not be appropriate for children under the age of 11, or for children over the age of 11 either for that matter. They may not even be appropriate for adults. 

Here Comes Santa Claus

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, into your driveway.
He’s gonna kill your kids and steal your toys on Christmas day,
Bells are ringing, children screaming
What a terrible sight,
So hide your wife and hide your kids,
‘Cause Santa Claus has a knife!

Jingle Bells

Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Better run away!
Oh, what fun It is to hide From a psychopathic guy, HEY!
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Gotta get away!
Oh what fun It is to hide From a psychopathic guy, HEY!



Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the snowman
Had a dark, demented soul,
With a creepy smile And a creepy pose
And two eyes made out of coal,
There  must have been some face paint in that old silk hat they found,
For when they put it on his head,
He turned into a clown!
Down to the village with a knife right in his hand,
Going here and there,
All around the square,
Saying I’ll kill you if I can!

Choppity chop chop,
Choppity chop chop,
Look at frosty go,
Choppity chop chop,
Choppity chop chop,
Over the blood stained snow.



Rudolf the Deadly Reindeer

Rudolf  the deadly reindeer, had a very deadly nose,
And if you ever saw him,
You'd be buried in the snow.
All of the other reindeer
Panicked and coward in fear
They never let old  Rudolf
Get even slightly near.
Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Santa came to say:
Rudolf, you might be on meth
That’s a crime, punishment: death!
Oh, how the reindeer loathed him
As he shouted out in horror
Santa, you big fat bully,
Now you will see day no more!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
It's still okay to cry
it's still okay to pout
but on Christmas Eve you'd better watch out
Santa Claus is coming.. to town!!

He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna see who he should feed to the mice
Santa Claus is coming... to town!!

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He is the Ultimate stalker so on Christmas stay awake!

Lock your doors
the windows too
Kriss Kringle is coming for you
Santa Claus is coming... to town!!

Hide away
especially tonight
or Christmas eve will bring you a fright.
​Santa Claus is coming...
Santa Claus is coming...
Santa Claus is coming TONIGHT!?
( So if I were you I would hide!​)

Up On The HouseTop
Up on the housetop
Reindeer claws
Out jumps creepy Santa Claus
Down thru the chimney
With a chainsaw
He comes out laughing: mwah ha ha!

First comes the stocking of little bill
He will get a little chill
With a shrunken head to play
He’ll be scared on Christmas day

Then is the stocking of little sue
She’ll be scared her face‘ll turn blue
A boa constrictor packed in a box
Last year it was chicken pox

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