Kids' Jokes

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Some of you may be aware that my children like jokes and riddles. They not only like to hear them and tell them, but they also like to come up with their own. Here are some of the jokes and riddles that have been floating around our house the last few months. Some of these they made up; others I think came from the cub scoutmaster, laffy taffy wrappers, milk cartons, or other sources.

Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot. Anyone can catch a cold!

What does a cow say when you throw it into a river?
Moo.

What happens when you throw a red stone into a blue water?
It gets wet.

What happens when you throw a yellow stone into blue water?
You get a geyser. (Think Yellowstone.)

What happens when you throw a chicken out of an airplane?
It falls.

What does a frog say when you throw it out of an airplane?
Croak!

What does the duck say when you throw it at a dartboard?
Quack.

What do you call a duck that's been thrown at a dartboard?
A duck.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie!

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?
R (Arrrrgh! )?
You may think that, but it's actually the 'C'! (sea)

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
Udder destruction!

What does the dragon say when he gets kicked?
It's time to eat you!

How old do you have to be to ride a dragon?
Old enough to yell louder than it can roar.
or
Any age as long as it's bigger than you.
or
Younger than the dragon

How do sticks and rocks get candy?
By saying "Trip or treat".

Who always moves?
Pack-man 

What are ghosts afraid of?
Busters

What did the computer say to the monitor?
1101101101

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
It lifts their spirits.

What did the calculator say to the computer?
0.1134 (type this on a calculator and turn it upside down.)

What starts with T, has T in it, and ends with T?
a tea pot.

What did the dollar say to the clothes?
Got change?

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