What It Means To Be An Introvert

My niece shared a link on Facebook a couple days ago to an article that I thought was enlightening. It is entitled, "How to interact with the introverted". There were several interesting things that the author suggested:

1. Extroverts gain their energy from their surroundings, absorbing "good vibes" from people around them. In other words, they gain energy from being around people.
2. Introverts make their own energy, and instead of gaining it when they are around other people, they give it. (or spend it.)
3. For introverts, energy is a precious, limited resource, and so they are wary of people (like extroverts) who would "steal" their energy by demanding their attention.
4. The author suggests that when interacting with the introverted, people should respect their personal space, don't demand that energy be spent on you - especially when it isn't necessary, don't take silence as an insult, and remember that introverts get lonely too.

As an introvert, I found this article very enlightening, putting some things in a way that I could relate to and understand. I usually enjoy being alone, but I like to be around other people, too, even if I'm not interacting with them at the moment. I don't mind shopping by myself in a crowded store very much because I don't have to expend any energy interacting with others. But being at a party in a crowded room is more stressful - and I realize now that it is because at a party I feel the need to socialize; I can't just sit in a corner and watch or pick up a book without being seen as antisocial. I have to expend energy to think of things to say, questions to ask, to keep up a conversation. I can do it, but I do find it tiring and draining.

There are some people, who I love dearly, who I find very exhausting to be around. There are other people that I don't mind spending time with at all. I had wondered what made the difference, but this article helps me to understand what is going on. The people that I find difficult to spend a lot of time around are those that demand a lot of attention. Maybe they have a lot of long-winded stories to tell. Maybe they want me to tell them everything going on in my life. Maybe they just want to be going places and doing things with them, but the amount of my attention that they require is mentally and physically exhausting. Sometimes it isn't even the people themselves, but the noise level and the chaos that comes along with large groups of people that is exhausting.

On the other hand, some people are a pleasure to have visit. Last night my parents stopped in for the night on their way back to their mission in Nauvoo. When they arrived, I was driving Hannah to an orchestra rehearsal, so I missed what hubbub might have occurred at their arrival. By the time I got home, my Dad was on his lap top doing something or other, my Mom was playing a game with the boys, and I was free to welcome them, but I didn't feel the need to keep them entertained. Later, my Mom came with me when I went to pick Hannah up from her practice, and I enjoyed chatting with her, but again, there wasn't any pressure on me, and if there were silences, they were comfortable. It was a relaxing visit and I really enjoyed their company - I didn't feel that they were demanding much of my limited energy, and I was happy to share the bit I had with them. (I hope that my boys didn't demand too much of my Mom's energy in playing the game with them. I think she enjoyed it.)


So I understand better what it means to be an introvert. I wonder what it would be like to be an extrovert. What would it be like to gain energy from interacting with others? I'm afraid I don't have many in my family that I can ask about it.