Strengthening and Preserving the Family

Yesterday I taught Relief Society again. This week the lesson was Chapter 4 of Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, entitled Strengthening and Preserving the Family.

Early on, as I studied the lesson and began thinking about how I wanted to teach it, I realized that this would be a difficult lesson to teach. There are few things so sensitive as talk about the family. To begin with, every family is different, and what might be considered ideal and perfect for me, would not be so ideal for someone else. There might be someone in the class who had come out of a bad divorce and was striving to build a happy life without an eternal spouse, and for whom talk about happy eternal marriage could be painful. I decided almost from the beginning that I didn't want to be doing a lot of talking during this lesson.

I started out the lesson trying to give them a feel for what kind of family man President Smith was. I started by reading the words of Ethel, President Smith's second wife where she describes the man she knew:

President Smith’s second wife, Ethel, was once asked, “Will you tell us something about the man you know?” Aware that many Church members saw her husband as overly stern, she responded:

“You ask me to tell you of the man I know. I have often thought when he is gone people will say, ‘He is a very good man, sincere, orthodox, etc.’ They will speak of him as the public knows him; but the man they have in mind is very different from the man I know. The man I know is a kind, loving husband and father whose greatest ambition in life is to make his family happy, entirely forgetful of self in his efforts to do this. He is the man that lulls to sleep the fretful child, who tells bedtime stories to the little ones, who is never too tired or too busy to sit up late at night or to get up early in the morning to help the older children solve perplexing school problems. When illness comes the man I know watches tenderly over the afflicted one and waits upon him. It is their father for whom they cry, feeling his presence a panacea for their ills. It is his hands that bind up the wounds, his arms that give courage to the sufferer, his voice that remonstrates with them gently when they err, until it becomes their happiness to do the thing that will make him happy. …

“The man I know is unselfish, uncomplaining, considerate, thoughtful, sympathetic, doing everything within his power to make life a supreme joy for his loved ones. That is the man I know.”³

I went on to share another experience from the life and ministry of President Smith:

The children in the Smith family were amused by the impression some people had of their father—as a severe, stern man. “One time … after he had preached a rather vigorous sermon on the importance of properly governing one’s children, an annoyed woman approached two of his little daughters and expressed sympathy for them [and said,] ‘I’ll bet your daddy beats you!’” In response to this accusation, the girls just giggled. They knew their father much better than she did—he would never hurt them. When he came home from his long trips, “it was happy times, from the moment they eagerly met him at the train depot until they sadly bade him farewell again several days hence.” They played games, made pies and ice cream, went on picnics, rode the train, and visited nearby canyons and lakes. They enjoyed hearing stories about his Church assignments all over the world.⁴¹ They also worked together, staying busy with chores around the house.⁴²

I mentioned how it was President Joseph Fielding Smith who had set apart Monday evenings for Family Home Evening, feeling that it was important for families to spend that time together.

After this brief introduction, I divided the Relief Society sisters into three groups and assigned each group to read one section of the chapter. On the board, I had written a few questions to think about as they read:

1. What evidence is there that the family is under attack? What can we do to protect and strengthen the family as an institution?
2. How does the knowledge that families can be together forever influence our interactions with our family members?
3. What can we do in our individual homes to help family members grow towards perfection?

One of the groups chose to read their section as a group and discuss it together while the other two groups decided to read as individuals. After most of the groups had finished reading (the group that read together would have kept discussing a lot longer if I hadn't stopped them) I asked them what they had learned, what paragraphs stood out to them, what thoughts they had while they read. And the sisters began talking. I started with the sisters who read the first section, then moved to the second and third sections, making sure each group had time to discuss what they had learned, but anyone could comment, not just the people in that specific group.


When the time was up, I thanked the sisters for their comments and insights and bore my testimony of the importance of strengthening our families.

Everyone's individual experience is so different that I'm sure every person got something different out of the discussion, and I hope that they each left with something that they could do, with a new thought or idea. I came home feeling grateful for the family that I grew up in, and for the family that I have now. I feel very blessed to have a good, kind husband who loves me, four very smart children who usually want to do what they are supposed to, and for the opportunity I had several years ago to kneel across an alter from my sweetheart and be sealed to him for time and all eternity in a holy temple of God. I feel blessed that my parents have also been sealed together, and that they taught me the commandments that I need to live by in order to receive all the blessings that God has in store for me. What a wonderful life I have!