Beware the Zombie Apocalypse!

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"For a trump shall sound both long and loud, even as upon Mount Sinai, and all the earth shall quake, and they shall come forth—yea, even the dead... Behold, I say unto you that... the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall be turned into blood, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and there shall be greater signs in heaven above and in the earth beneath; And there shall be weeping and wailing among the hosts of men; And there shall be a great hailstorm sent forth to destroy the crops of the earth. And it shall come to pass, because of the wickedness of the world, that I will take vengeance upon the wicked, for they will not repent; for the cup of mine indignation is full; for behold, my blood shall not cleanse them if they hear me not. Wherefore, I the Lord God will send forth flies upon the face of the earth, which shall take hold of the inhabitants thereof, and shall eat their flesh, and shall cause maggots to come in upon them; And their tongues shall be stayed that they shall not utter against me; and their flesh shall fall from off their bones, and their eyes from their sockets; And it shall come to pass that the beasts of the forest and the fowls of the air shall devour them up. And the great and abominable church, which is the whore of all the earth, shall be cast down by devouring fire, ... And again, verily, verily, I say unto you that when the thousand years are ended... then will I spare the earth but for a little season; And the end shall come, and the heaven and the earth shall be consumed and pass away, and there shall be a new heaven and anew earth. ... and then shall all the dead awake, for their graves shall be opened, and they shall come forth—yea, even all. " (Doctrine & Covenants 29:13-26)
 As I was reading this section a couple days ago for my institute class, I realized that if you skip over a few key words here and there, it really makes it sound as though there is going to be a horrible zombie apocalypse.  Not only will the dead rise from their graves, but it will be dark, there'll be no food, and there will be horrible flesh eating (zombie?) flies making our eyes fall from our sockets so we'll be blind on top of everything else! And this will last for a thousand years? No wonder everyone will be dead by the end of it!

(Actually, the dead won't rise from the graves until AFTER the whole sun darkened, flies eating the flesh bit. The dead will rise with perfect resurrected bodies, (i.e. they won't be zombies) and the thousand years after all that should actually be pretty happy ones. Isn't that a relief?)

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