Beware the Zombie Apocalypse!

-
"For a trump shall sound both long and loud, even as upon Mount Sinai, and all the earth shall quake, and they shall come forth—yea, even the dead... Behold, I say unto you that... the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall be turned into blood, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and there shall be greater signs in heaven above and in the earth beneath; And there shall be weeping and wailing among the hosts of men; And there shall be a great hailstorm sent forth to destroy the crops of the earth. And it shall come to pass, because of the wickedness of the world, that I will take vengeance upon the wicked, for they will not repent; for the cup of mine indignation is full; for behold, my blood shall not cleanse them if they hear me not. Wherefore, I the Lord God will send forth flies upon the face of the earth, which shall take hold of the inhabitants thereof, and shall eat their flesh, and shall cause maggots to come in upon them; And their tongues shall be stayed that they shall not utter against me; and their flesh shall fall from off their bones, and their eyes from their sockets; And it shall come to pass that the beasts of the forest and the fowls of the air shall devour them up. And the great and abominable church, which is the whore of all the earth, shall be cast down by devouring fire, ... And again, verily, verily, I say unto you that when the thousand years are ended... then will I spare the earth but for a little season; And the end shall come, and the heaven and the earth shall be consumed and pass away, and there shall be a new heaven and anew earth. ... and then shall all the dead awake, for their graves shall be opened, and they shall come forth—yea, even all. " (Doctrine & Covenants 29:13-26)
 As I was reading this section a couple days ago for my institute class, I realized that if you skip over a few key words here and there, it really makes it sound as though there is going to be a horrible zombie apocalypse.  Not only will the dead rise from their graves, but it will be dark, there'll be no food, and there will be horrible flesh eating (zombie?) flies making our eyes fall from our sockets so we'll be blind on top of everything else! And this will last for a thousand years? No wonder everyone will be dead by the end of it!

(Actually, the dead won't rise from the graves until AFTER the whole sun darkened, flies eating the flesh bit. The dead will rise with perfect resurrected bodies, (i.e. they won't be zombies) and the thousand years after all that should actually be pretty happy ones. Isn't that a relief?)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Talk about Gratitude

-
I recently told my bishop that I enjoyed giving talks in Sacrament Meeting, and it is true. I didn't expect, however, that I would get an email from a bishopric member on Thursday last week to say that his talks for Sunday had to leave town, and would I be willing to speak? Here is the talk that I gave on Sunday, May 27th, 2012: For my topic today, I was given a talk which was given by President Monson in 1992, entitled “An Attitude of Gratitude”. In his talk President Monson begins by telling the story of the 10 lepers. I would like to share it with you. In Luke 17 we read: And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off: And they lifted up their voices, and said, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” And when he saw them, he said unto them, “Go show yourselves unto the priests.” And it came to pass, that, as they went, ...
Read more

How Clean is Clean Enough?

-
Image
How clean is "clean enough"? I realize this question is loaded and the answers are very individual, so for a moment, think about yourself and your home and consider, for you, how clean is "clean enough"? What is the difference between a "quick clean", a "daily clean" and a "deep clean"? At what point do you consider your home "clean enough"? Does "clean enough" mean having a clear path from the front door to the other rooms in the house? Is it having the clutter picked up and the floors vacuumed? Must it be dusted every week, every month, or at all? Is it a quick swipe on the surface to remove the dust or crumbs? Is it a scrub with disinfectant? Is it clearing tables and desks, or delving into cupboards and drawers, purging and organizing?    Does it depend on the day of the week? Is "clean enough" on a weekday the same as "clean enough" on a weekend? If not, is it more clean, or less? Is there a...
Read more

School closing, Josh adventures, Back pain relief...

-
On Wednesday school was cancelled all over the Denver area because there was a credible threat that an 18 year old woman with a fixation on the Columbine shooting would attack a school. Apparently she arrived in Denver and bought a gun and then vanished, so they shut down everything just in case. (They found her body later that day... She committed suicide. More info here .) John was frustrated that school was cancelled because one acts are coming up (they are this week!) and he needed the rehearsal time. Instead, John took advantage of the free day to go to School of Mines to check out the campus and talk to someone about getting his admission deferred. I got a ride to my book club, and both of us were home again before Josh and Peter rolled out of bed. Early in the afternoon I took Josh to Children's Hospital to see a cardiologist about his seizures . They did an EKG, but the results were normal. He doesn't have a heart murmur or anything else they could identify. I still thi...
Read more