Criticism vs Compassion
Last week in institute, we talked about why the Lord chastens us, and how we react when we are chastened. This week we started off on a similar topic. We read 1 Nephi 21:4, (here Nephi is quoting Isaiah 49:4) which says, "Then I [Isaiah] said, I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for naught and in vain; surely my judgment is with the Lord, and my work with my God." Isaiah had been laboring to teach the gospel to the Israelites, and not finding much success. Maybe he was feeling disheartened because it didn't seem like the people were listening to him.
In verse 5, he goes on to say, "And now, saith the Lord—that formed me from the womb that I should be his servant, to bring Jacob again to him—though Israel be not gathered, yet shall I be glorious in the eyes of the Lord, and my God shall be my strength." Isaiah realized that the Lord had created him - he knew, better than Isaiah himself - what Isaiah was capable of doing. The Lord chose Isaiah to be his servant to teach the descendants of Jacob (who's name was changed to Israel) the gospel. The Lord knew and understood that Isaiah was doing his best. Even though he may not have been successful in his endeavors, the Lord accepted his offering, the Lord strengthened him and comforted him.
If the Lord, who understands us better than anyone, can be merciful, forgiving and loving to his children when they fall short of perfection, shouldn't we be merciful to others when they fall short of our expectations for them?
Our institute teacher for today was the wife of a member of our stake presidency. While she usually tries not to criticize others, she occasionally feels the need to criticize her husband. She told a story of a time when he was the concluding speaker in a stake conference Saturday evening session. While this session can be anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 hours, she felt like the shorter end was better. Her husband stood up to speak with only ten minutes to spare before the 1 1/2 hour mark, and he proceeded to tell, at great length, a story about a child of theirs who had suffered certain events and grown from them. The meeting ended closer to the 2 hour mark, and after the meeting, she made her way forward to tell him that he should have shortened his talk. On her way to the front, a brother in the stake stopped her to tell her how the story her husband had shared had touched him and given him hope for one of his own children. Later that evening, and in the days and weeks to follow, she heard from many how her husband's words had blessed their lives. Isn't that more important than his sticking to an arbitrary time frame she had in mind?
One of my favorite lines from this chapter is the start of 1 Nephi 21:16 which says, "Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." This entire chapter is full of the Lord's love and compassion for his people, but this verse shows the length that the Lord was willing to go to - crucifixion - in order to gather his people to him.
Later we read 2 Nephi 2:7-9 which talks about how it is only through the Messiah and his sacrifice that we are able to meet the ends of the law and be saved. We can't do it on our own! Mosiah 15:8-9 explains how Jesus in his mercy and compassion, by breaking the bands of death and taking "upon himself [our] iniquity and [our] transgressions," gained the power to make this intercession for us and meet the demands of justice. Without him and his atonement, we would all be stuck. Permanently.
Because Jesus had mercy on us, he did intercede for us. He satisfied the demands of justice, and he knows exactly what sins and sorrows we suffer because he has felt them himself. If Christ can know us that well, and still have compassion on us, shouldn't we have compassion on each other, when we have no idea how others feel?
As a mother, it is sometimes difficult for me to distinguish between when I am teaching, and when I'm criticizing. When one of my children criticizes another harshly, or mocks the way he does something, and I tell (ask?) that child not to criticize her brother, am I teaching her to be compassionate, or am I just criticizing her in return? I would like to teach my children these things:
In verse 5, he goes on to say, "And now, saith the Lord—that formed me from the womb that I should be his servant, to bring Jacob again to him—though Israel be not gathered, yet shall I be glorious in the eyes of the Lord, and my God shall be my strength." Isaiah realized that the Lord had created him - he knew, better than Isaiah himself - what Isaiah was capable of doing. The Lord chose Isaiah to be his servant to teach the descendants of Jacob (who's name was changed to Israel) the gospel. The Lord knew and understood that Isaiah was doing his best. Even though he may not have been successful in his endeavors, the Lord accepted his offering, the Lord strengthened him and comforted him.
If the Lord, who understands us better than anyone, can be merciful, forgiving and loving to his children when they fall short of perfection, shouldn't we be merciful to others when they fall short of our expectations for them?
Our institute teacher for today was the wife of a member of our stake presidency. While she usually tries not to criticize others, she occasionally feels the need to criticize her husband. She told a story of a time when he was the concluding speaker in a stake conference Saturday evening session. While this session can be anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 hours, she felt like the shorter end was better. Her husband stood up to speak with only ten minutes to spare before the 1 1/2 hour mark, and he proceeded to tell, at great length, a story about a child of theirs who had suffered certain events and grown from them. The meeting ended closer to the 2 hour mark, and after the meeting, she made her way forward to tell him that he should have shortened his talk. On her way to the front, a brother in the stake stopped her to tell her how the story her husband had shared had touched him and given him hope for one of his own children. Later that evening, and in the days and weeks to follow, she heard from many how her husband's words had blessed their lives. Isn't that more important than his sticking to an arbitrary time frame she had in mind?
One of my favorite lines from this chapter is the start of 1 Nephi 21:16 which says, "Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." This entire chapter is full of the Lord's love and compassion for his people, but this verse shows the length that the Lord was willing to go to - crucifixion - in order to gather his people to him.
Later we read 2 Nephi 2:7-9 which talks about how it is only through the Messiah and his sacrifice that we are able to meet the ends of the law and be saved. We can't do it on our own! Mosiah 15:8-9 explains how Jesus in his mercy and compassion, by breaking the bands of death and taking "upon himself [our] iniquity and [our] transgressions," gained the power to make this intercession for us and meet the demands of justice. Without him and his atonement, we would all be stuck. Permanently.
Because Jesus had mercy on us, he did intercede for us. He satisfied the demands of justice, and he knows exactly what sins and sorrows we suffer because he has felt them himself. If Christ can know us that well, and still have compassion on us, shouldn't we have compassion on each other, when we have no idea how others feel?
As a mother, it is sometimes difficult for me to distinguish between when I am teaching, and when I'm criticizing. When one of my children criticizes another harshly, or mocks the way he does something, and I tell (ask?) that child not to criticize her brother, am I teaching her to be compassionate, or am I just criticizing her in return? I would like to teach my children these things:
- Be meek - Don't critique others' efforts. (See this conference talk by Ulisses Soares)
- Assume others are doing the best they can and respect them for their efforts.
- Have charity: be kind, don't be easily provoked, think no evil. (See Moroni 7:45)
- People generally do better when they don't feel they need to fear criticism.
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